Get a Job!

parasite1For those of you who don’t know, I make Snarky Cards: Brutally Honest Greeting Cards. They will crack you the fuck up.

And here is my latest card: The Parasite On Society. For the person in your life that you wanna keep fucking, even though they’re prospects are looking grim. It can console and reassure them, while cracking you up. And really, isn’t that a pressing concern when you get laid off? I mean, I’ve been fired almost as many times as I’ve been hired, and I worried that it would make me a little less fuckable everytime. It didn’t, but it took me a while to get that. And so I made this card.

Lately, I’ve been out selling a lot. I loved San Francisco, but going home didn’t save me, financially, like I hoped it would. Arlette is right. There’s no magic bullet. (what does that even mean, anyway? Aren’t all bullets kind of magical, in that they can kill people really, really fast?) I’m building a business, and the more I work on building it, the easier things get, but it’s all still work. Yes, I do a lot of it stoned or drunk, and a lot of it’s fun, but a lot of it’s exhausting too. It may be a fun job, but it’s still a job, to put myself out there, night after night, hurling my breasts and cards at strangers over and over again, hoping that something will stick. And sometimes it feels like a job. Except with this job, there are always lessons, in everything I try.

I didn’t make a million dollars in San Francisco, but I didn’t lose money by going. And I realized that the change in Scenery is good for me. So is going to a new city, where I have to create a new buzz for my shit all over again. Although, San Francisco remembers my cards, so it wasn’t totally starting over. I’ve sold them there about four times in the last two years. So I had some street cred to start out with.

How fun would it be to have people try to put your earrings out all night?
How fun would it be to have people try to put your earrings out all night?

My sister and I have started talking to each other again, so I think a trip to Seattle might be in the works, as the next spot where I try for Total Bar Domination. She’s pretty keyed into the Seattle art scene, and she makes some pretty cool art herself. My favorite of her new shit is her Cigarrette Earrings. Not made out of actual Cigarrettes, but they look like they’re lit, especially in the bar.

While Joy and I might be on the up and up, I’m not sure if I want to test out new-found friendliness by crashing with her. So, Seattle-ans: If you have a couch, and you think you want a Surly, but Sexy Snarky Card Chick crashing on it for a night, lemme know, would you?

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