I woke up covered in paint. It’s fucking everywhere. My arms, my legs, my boobs, my face, my neck. I look like I lost a fight with a box of Crayola. Which, for the record, I didn’t.
I was just trying to make enough cards so that I could entertain and delight you fuckers at The Rose Festival This Weekend! Where I will be slagging my Snarky Cards in Style. Seriously, I think last night I figured out how to make a Sandwich Board. Whic may not sound like much to you, but lemme tell you, it’s pretty fucking Chic. You know that you have a successful business when you have a sandwich board. I’ll be bringing my typewriter, and plenty of blank cards, so you can show up and tell me the details of all of your broken relationships, and I will soothe your bruised ego and feelings and sate your need for revenge with my pretty pictures and my witt.
This card, in particular, will help you sleep with more dorks, just in case your quotient is low. I wish you luck in your sex with Nerds!