Wet Dreams about Canadia

267px-intelligence_tv_promo_3Oh my god, I woke up this morning, and realized that I’d been having crazy sleep orgasms over Ian Tracey. This shouldn’t be a huge surprise, given that I’ve been watching Intelligence over and over again for the last two weeks. When I’m not watching it, I’m thinking about it.

Intelligence, is Canadia’s answer to The Wire, except, it’s Canadia, America’s nicer, smarter, better looking and luckier younger brother. So even though it’s a show about smart cops building up a case against Big Bad Drug Dealers, the bureaucracy is easier for them to wade through in order to get their wire-taps, it’s easier for the Canadian Cops to protect their informants, and pay them.

252px-season02_posterartThey also seem to be better organized, with more money and the Canadian Cops are dealing with a less corrupt system than The Baltimore Cops had to deal with in the Wire. And also, they piss and moan less. If the Canadian Government is corrupt, and they have to subvert the system in order to do their job, it doesn’t make them feel bad to do it, like American Cops who always have to worry if they’re still moral when they break the rules.

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I would totally have sex with him in a broom closet. Vagina Spiders or no.

And Ian Tracey plays the biggest, baddest Drug Dealer in all of Vancouver. Except, he only deals weed, (and everytime he talks about 400 hundred pounds of weed, I start giggling. I can’t help it.) and he doesn’t kill anyone. In the first season, maybe 6 people get killed. Which is what happens in every episode of the wire. Also: apparently Canadia has a problem with Americans. We spy on them, and they have to figure out how to get rid of the American spies in the Canadian Government. Which also made me giggle like crazy, but I can’t figure out why.

This is not the first time I’ve fallen for Ian Tracey. He stole my heart in Davinci’s Inquest too.(The first Canadian Cop show) I looked for him in Battlestar Galactica, which had 10 Davinci’s Inquest Crossovers, to no avail.

clitI’m so glad that he’s got another show. Where he is shirtless, a lot. He has these crazy lines around his mouth, that divide his face up when he smiles and it’s so fucking adorable, I can’t fucking stand it.

So, this card is for you, Ian Tracey. Because the broom-closet-sex we had in my dreams totally did the trick for me. In my imagination, you have mad skills. Please keep taking your shirt off and selling hundreds of pounds of weed on television, as a public service to all of us.

One thought on “Wet Dreams about Canadia

  • June 23, 2009 at 10:45 pm
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    Pretty cool post. I just came by your site and wanted to say
    that I have really liked reading your posts. Any way
    I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!

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