Superalisa Gets Some Portland Style

tip money from aboveFor those of you who don’t know, my name is Alisa Starr, and I make Snarky Cards: Brutally Honest Greeting Cards. I sell them in bars from a box that hangs beneano double chinth my boobs. They will crack you the fuck up.

Here are a few pics of my boobs, and me, typing cards on my typewriter. The money in my cleavage was a tip someone gave me for a custom card. This is part of the reason why I call myself an Art Prostitute. Because I kinda am. I act slutty so people will buy my art. And sometimes, the slutty isn’t an act. It’s all very charming, and winsome.

Next week, I’m going to San Francisco, where all the weird racial tension of Portland can seep out of my bones, and the Mexican food will make me strong. I’ll be surrounded by girls that come in middle sizes (Portland girls are mostly anorexic. I don’t know if that just makes big girls seem bigger, or if this is a town that is addicted to it’s extremes). And all single men in San Francisco are not either very, very sad or sociopathic alcoholic sluts. Some of them are normal guys who are just not in a relationship right now. Finding a guy like that in Portland is like finding a hipster with a job, or a unicorn, or something else so rare that the concept of encountering it in person boggles the mind, and makes you question your belief systems.

It’s going to be fucking awesome.

But until I leave, I will be enjoying all of the awesome Portland has to offer. And there’s a lot of awesome going down.

FenbiOn Thursday night, September 17th, Fenbi will be playing at The Dublin Pub, starting at 9pm. The Dublin Pub is at: 6821 Beaverton Hillsdale Hwy Portland, OR.For those of you who never read my blog, I love Fenbi. I think that they are one of the greatest bands in the world. They are amazingly hot boys, who play the dancin’est music ever. Every single time I hear them, all I wanna do is dance. It’s sorta Irish Rock (like U2 but, you know, really good) and you should fucking check them out.

Beer, boobs, crafts, music, and probably some hook-ups!
Beer, boobs, crafts, music, and probably some hook-ups!

On September 18th, Friday afternoon, Voodoo Doughnuts, Music Millenium, Greyday Records and Belmont Station Brewing Company will be hosting a party at NE Voodoo Doughnuts at: 1501 N.E. Davis from 3-7pm. I’ll be there with my typewriter, and so will a lot of other cool kids. Lots of other local crafters, and local bands. Beer, doughnuts, live music, sexy crafts and Snarky Cards. Who could ask for anything more?

Betsy The Great!
Betsy The Great!

On Saturday, I will be teaming up with Betsy The Great,  at The Alberta Art Hop. So, go to Alberta street, park and then look for Betsy and Iya Deigns, or listen for the sound of my typewriter. Either one will lead you to the funniest, sexiest moments of your Saturday.

IvyAnd after The Art Hop, on Saturday night, I’ll be hopping along to hear The Illustrious and Amazing Ivy Ross strum her guitar. When you  listen to Ivy, your whole life gets better. She’s like the vocal equivelent to whiskey. She’s playing from 7-10 pm @ The Waypost: 3120 N Williams Ave. Portland, OR 97227

So, that’s the news people. If you wanna get some of me, or try out some of my tasty co-horts music/crafts/sexy jewelry, there are plenty of chances this week! Get down or be square.

3 thoughts on “Superalisa Gets Some Portland Style

  • September 22, 2009 at 11:31 pm

    I can’t wait to hang with you this week. I will wear my new boob shirt in your honor.

  • September 22, 2009 at 11:32 pm

    Just to clarify, I mean that the shirt is a new one that shows my boobs, and not that I have new boobs with their own shirt.

  • October 7, 2009 at 7:37 am

    I have new boobs with my shirt too … errr .. my new shirt shows my new boobs … wait, I mean my new shirt shows my old booobs …. old saggy … chest hair boobs

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