Life Begins Again

Dear Internets,

Two weeks ago, my brother got married, in LA. After I went to the wedding, I stopped by Arlette’s. Her Mom’s been sick. I love her Mom. So, I spent a few days hanging out with the two of them.

It was hard seeing Lillian so sick. And it was wonderful to sleep on my best friend’s couch for a couple of days. Everything about her apartment: from the way she swaths everything in red, to the booze she keeps in the medicine cabinet next to the kitchen sink, makes me feel like I’m home.

Which I kinda needed. This summer has kind of kicked my ass. It’s been hard for me to push myself to walk again, after my broken leg. It’s been 7 months since my surgery. It takes a year to heal. And so I still can’t drink and smoke and party like I used to, before my leg was broken. I also can’t walk without the cane yet. And it still hurts when I push it. All of this leaves me feeling like 1. A pussy and 2. Like I must be doing it wrong. I’m over being a cripple. And so are my friends. Arlette is one of the voices of reason in my life “You’re knitting yourself a new leg.” She gets annoyed that I’m so impatient with myself. “That takes time, and energy.”

I’ve been able to start going out selling Snarky Cards once or twice a week. And I’ve even found a lovely fag to sell cards for me in gay bars all over Capitol Hill. His name is Big Gay Sean. And he decorated his Snarky Card Box with glitter and gay porn.

This has shifted my job a little bit. Because now I have to paint enough cards to fill his box, and mine, all the while keeping up with my internet orders, and my stores needs.

Speaking of which, Homebody Boutique in Brooklyn, New York just started carrying Snarky Cards! I’m pleased to add them to my Roster of Awesome Shops! Kate Silver, who owns the shop has been a longtime fan of Snarky Cards. She recently ordered a few off of my etsy site, while I was filling her order, I took a look at her website, and I thought “Homebody and Snarky Cards should totally make-out!” She sold her first Snarky Card while she was unpacking the box. I look forward to flooding Brooklyn with Snarky Cards thanks to Homebody and, of course, Shag[binnashfbalbum4wp album_id=undefined]. My other Brooklyn store.

I also added Neuro Float to my Roster of Awesome Stores! Neuro Float is a yoga studio/relaxation center. They work with

This is the pod that you float in! “Uniting an inversion session with brainwave synchronization and theta-state floating help you approach life’s most important goals with new found balance.”

theta waves. And they have these crazy pods, that you float in, which help you completely relax and reset yourself. Neuro Float found me, and asked if they could sell Snarky Cards. I wouldn’t have expected this kind of pairing to work. But I think they’re operating under the idea that laughter is the best kind of relaxation. They’re located in Bend, Oregon. And they’re the only store in Bend that’s carrying Snarky Cards. I’m glad to have them!

All of this means that for the last two months, I’ve been painting more than I’ve been selling. It’s been good for my painting. I’ve been getting bored and experimenting with new animals, with a lot less trepidation than I usually feel. I am really nervous the first 200-500 times I paint something new. Which means I’m pretty much nervous until I’m bored.This year, I’m trying to root out all of these little neurotic tics I’ve got. I’m starting to realize that being nervous and worrying are the kinds of actions which sap my energy. And make everything harder than it actually is.

I always paint more than I sell. But this has tipped the scale more. It’s changed my routine a LOT. And left me feeling a little isolated. I usually paint, by myself, for about 40 hours a week. And then I try to sell for 20 hours a week. The long hours alone, with my cats and my tv, and my paints help me center myself. This centering helps me be comfortably and completely outrageously myself when I go out to sell.

This is my in my birthday tuu-tuu. I look like somebody you could be friends with, right?

But the last two months, it’s been more like 60 hours a week painting. And 5-10 hours a week selling. This lopsidedness has left me a little starved for human contact. And it’s made me realize that I need to create some new relationships which are not completely based on my life as The Snarky Card Chick. Which initially sounded hard. But I think that was just a little Portland PTSD. In Seattle, making friends isn’t Mission Impossible. It’s more a matter of me saying “OK. When?” When people ask if I wanna hang out with them.

So, I’m trying to make an effort. And say yes. And take care of myself. And, it’s working. It’s weird, because I’ve lived in Seattle for almost a year now. But I’m starting to feel like my life is finally starting here.

Love,

Alisa

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