Snarky Christmas Cards are Here!

Me, in my pretty party dress, slingin Snarky Cards at The Unicorn

Dear Internets,

This year I’ve outdone myself. I learned how to paint new Christmas things! And I re-wrote my entire Christmas line. AND I’ve been so organized, that all of my stores will have a full set of Christmas Cards before December 1st! That was, like, 600 cards that I’ve spent the last month art slaving away to complete. I spent at least 100 hours, hunched over my painting desk, learning new shapes and tricks, I painted so much that the smell of paint started to gross me out.

I painted so much I got sick of watching tv. -Which I do, while I paint, in order to keep myself schnelling faster and faster. It helps me figure out time. Like I’ll say to myself  “OK, by the end of this episode of Revenge, you need to have 12 ducks outlined, and you need to fill in all of the Unicorns manes and tails..” It’s a pretty good system. Especially for someone like me, who has a tendency to lag. I can literally spend hours staring into space, planning my day. The arc of a 42 minutes episode helps me keep myself in check “OK, Detective Benson just discovered the real rapist. Have you finished all of those Christmas trees yet?” It took me a long time to figure out this system. I time everything with media. Before I started taking my phone with me into the bathroom, I’d take 45 minute showers. Now, I have a 3 song maximum rule. And I’m out of the shower, completely clean in 12-15 minutes, dancing and singing the whole time.

Anyway, enough about my weird OCD. Hopefully,  the new shit is funny, and you will want to buy it. You can check it out on my etsy site.

I tried to make this year’s Christmas Cards about the grey area’s people find most of their relationships fall into. Like, my friend Colin. He has some solid guy friends, who he does stuff with. They talk about some stuff, but for the most part, they hang out and play guitar. Or they hang out and play video games. He likes them, but their friendship isn’t deep and they’re not the kinds of friends who say “I love you” or “I miss you”. Like I do, with all of the girlfriends I have whom I spend any time with, at all.

So, I made him this card. Because I figure, Colin’s pretty normal.  He’s, like, the normalest person I know. So there are probably lots of other people who have video-game-only friends.

Note that I have started to paint candy canes. They weren’t harder than, say, unicorns, but they were still a little tricky. And I’m really happy with how I’ve fleshed out the paintings as well as the cards.

I hope you like the new in-between cards, for your in-between intimacies.




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