My name is Alisa Starr. I make Snarky Cards: Brutally Honest Greeting Cards. I sell them online. And in stores. And in bars from a box that hangs beneath my boobs. They say hilarious things about fucking. They will crack you the fuck up.
This Christmas was super-cray. For the first time ever, I got all my stores all their cards in time for Christmas. And I was able to still go out selling once a week. This feat sounds average, but it’s actually super-human. I made 1200 cards in a month. Which I’ve never been able to do before. And it was hard.
There were a lot of 12-14 hour painting days. I spent the last month and a half eating. sleeping and working. I only took off Thanksgiving and Christmas.
In the past, I’ve never been able to paint with this kind of intensity and focus partly because I didn’t have enough orders from my stores, and partly because my prices were too low. So, I’d get an order, and I’d start working on it, but then my phone bill would be due, or
I’d run out of food, and I’d have to take the cards I made for the store and go sell them at the bar in order to fill my fridge or make outgoing calls. I stopped doing consignment, which helps. It leads to actual orders. And bigger orders. And now that my cards are $4 each, I’m making enough on each card that I can afford to just stay home and make them. There’s always food in the fridge.
So, I was able to concentrate on just making shit. And it was mind-numbing at times, but I feel like a better painter. And I know my new line of Christmas Cards was a big hit. As of right now, I’ve made and sold 52,436 cards now.
And the nights I did go out and sell, I enjoyed it a lot. I don’t know if you know this or not, Internets, but when I’m out selling in bars, I offer a free motor-boat with a $20 or more purchase. I encourage your friends to film you, diving into my tits. Which is why there are so many pictures in this post of people motor-boating me.
I’ve accomplished a lot in the last two months. And I think part of it is because I’m finally, for the first time in my adult life, living alone. I don’t have to explain my crazy hours or apologize for taking up too much space. I don’t have to accommodate other people’s guests or feel bad about not doing the dishes. I can organize and re-organize the space until it completely works for me. I never thought I’d be able to live by myself, but now I can’t figure out how I lived any other way. It’s definitely sealed things for me. I’m a spinster. I love my space. I’ll never live with another person again.
And finally! I have started working at the Georgetown Trailer Park Mall, every Saturday and Sunday for the last month and the foreseeable future. The Trailer Park Mall is a collection of Trailer’s, sitting in a parking lot on Airport Way, in Georgetown. Each trailer has it’s
own different goods to sell. I’m in the sexy silver Airstream, which my friend, Mary has filled with prints, paintings, pottery, Bacon-People, Handmade Hats, and, of course, Snarky Cards.
I brought my back-up typewriter: Gertie and left her there. So, I spend every Saturday and Sunday from 11-5 typing up custom cards for people, and showing off other artists work. I had no idea what having a space
away from my studio/home would do for me. But, the trailer has been a godsend. Not only do I get to hob-nob with other artists and show off my typing skills, I also get a clean space to think.
There are some days when it’s busy, but we get a lot of downtime at the Trailer Park
Mall. And that thinking time has become invaluable. Every weekend, I get to think through the next week’s work. And make a little money. And crack strangers up. Since I started making Snarky Cards, it’s felt like I’ve spent a lot of my life reacting. Living off my cards means that I am always feeling the pull of money and work. There was never enough money. All I had to do was work a little harder and then
I’d be OK. The Trailer Park Mall gives me a space to plan. And I’m starting to feel like I’m in more control of my life. And my professional life seems more like it’s something I can direct, and less like a handsy monster I have to wrestle to the ground.
And the other people with trailers are delightful. We drink beer and make jokes. And celebrate good days together, complain about bad days. Since I’ve been working for myself, I’ve desperately missed co-workers. And the Trailer Park has finally given me some.
It’s awesome. You should stop by sometime!