Happy Divorce!!! May the blow-jobs now be plentiful in your life!

Dear Internets,

Here are some rad Snarky Cards, I wrote. The first one, I wrote a few years ago. It was inspired by my favorite Feminist Porn Actress/Writer/Director, Kitty Striker. She has been making Feminist Porn before it was a Real Thing.  I love how she writes about everything, and the political becomes personal, and her personal life becomes political. Kitty got divorced, and she wrote about it, like she writes about all of her life. And I wrote this card for her, so she could celebrate in style.

Happy Divorce!!

Here’s what I wrote about Kitty from the Olden Days:
My Happy Divorce cards are designed to help you understand that your divorce is not the end of the world. In fact, it’s the beginning of you dating someone who is nice to you, and totally not crazy.

This card is dedicated to Kitty Stryker. Who writes bad-ass thinky stuff about how hard it is to be a Really Rad Chick. I feel like she totally understands me. And she just got happily divorced from an asshat.
Her new fiance is way more into the hilarious-smart-angry-bitchy-writer that she actually is.

This beautiful fairy-tale can happen to you!

I don’t give blow-jobs very often. But, when I do, they’re amazing. I know they’re amazing, because a few years ago, a sluttastic friend of mine wrote up an awesome step-by-step guide to Excellent Blow-Jobs.

I’ve heard enough whining from boys over the years, about crappy blow-jobs to know that this is not something that you should be taking for granted.

And so I don’t use those tips on just anybody.

You’ve got to earn my mouth-brilliance, by being excellent at finger-banging and feminist references.

And if you’re lucky enough to be on the receiving end of my Mouth-Gasms, I expect at least a verbal Thank-You. I am not alone. Other Amazing Blow-Job givers also expect/deserve thanks. I made this card for that.

This card should cover at least a month of Blow-Job thank-you’s. Ensuring you a steady supply.

Your welcome!

Love,

Alisa

 

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