Happy Wedding!!!!!!

1Dear Internets,

Now that “the gays” are allowed to get married, I totally care about weddings. Straight people get weird about weddings. Guys are all slimy for their bachelor parties. Girls screaming at their best friends over dresses, hair and jewelry. People spending money they don’t have on a day. Instead of buying a house, or a car, or putting money aside for their kids college funds.

Also!! It’s all archaic and misogynist. Most of the traditions in marriage are about selling a woman to a man. The veil, the Dad giving her to the groom, the ring. It’s all a little… yucky. And unnerving. I don’t want anyone giving me to anyone else. I don’t wanna Not See, until my new husband lifts the veil from my eyes to kiss me. Ugh. Gross.

1However, my Lesbian Lovelies and my Gorgeous Fags all have such interesting wedding dreams. And they’re just forming their own wedding traditions. And now that marriage is totally gay, I get it. I get what it means. I get the partnership, and the love, and the promise to take care of each other in old age. It makes a lot more sense now that I’ve seen some gay proposals.

1So, I finally made a wedding card!
Thanks to all of you who are Homo-Awesome, for making crazy commitments to each other. And helping me feel better about marriage.
Now, if only you guys could take over sports. Then I would care way more about sports. Or, like, at all. Also: if there was more gay, I feel like sports-bowls (super-bowls? Doesn’t my thing sound more sporty?) would be more like orgies.
Love,
Alisa

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