I was born on July 4th, 1979. I grew up in Santa Clara, CA. Which is in the heart of the Silicon Valley. I grew up in the dot.com boom. In high school, my boyfriends dropped out so that they could write code. I was not the chick who said “You don’t know him, he doesn’t go here.” I was the much more annoying chick who said “You don’t know him, he has his own apartment.” I grew up in a very religious family, all of whom were not happy about me saying whatever I think. when I think it.
I’ve been selling shit for my entire life. This first culminated in my book career, which lasted 7 years. I also worked for a mortgage company, and a dating service. And a lot of other companies who probably aren’t as interesting as that.
I started Snarky Cards in 2007. I’d wanted to make myself a writer, and this was my best idea. I combined all the things I’m good at: drinking in bars, painting while watching tv, talking to strangers, and sexy-talk and an almost autistic inability to resist telling people what I think of them into this one, awesome job.
I’ve sold 50,000 Snarky Cards so far. Every card is hand-painted and lovingly typed, on Bob; my Smith-Carona. I sell them in bars, from a box that hangs beneath my boobs. When you buy them from me at the bar, you get a free motorboat with every $20 or more purchase. I have given out a lot of motorboats.