About Super-Alisa

Alisa in Seattlelogo (1)Hi, I’m Alisa Starr. I make Snarky Cards: Brutally Honest Greeting Cards. They will crack you the fuck up.

I was born on July 4th, 1979. I grew up in Santa Clara, CA. Which is in the heart of the Silicon Valley. I grew up in the dot com boom. In high school, my boyfriends dropped out so that they could write code. I was not the chick who said “You don’t know him, he doesn’t go here.” I was the much more annoying chick who 1914701_1160963917390_7810045_nsaid “You don’t know him, he has his own apartment.” I grew up in a very religious family, all of whom were not happy about me saying whatever I think, when I think it.

I’ve been selling shit for my entire life. I sold books, and managed bookstores in my first career for about 7 years. I also worked for a mortgage company, and a dating service. And a lot of other companies who probably aren’t as interesting as that.

This is my typewriter, Bob. He's a Smith-Carona. Not to be racist or anything.
This is my typewriter, Bob. He’s a Smith-Carona. Not to be racist or anything.

I started Snarky Cards in 2007. I’d wanted to make myself a writer, and this was my best idea. I combined all the things I’m good at: drinking in bars, painting while watching tv, talking to strangers, and sexy-talk and an almost autistic inability to resist telling people what I think of them into this one, awesome job.

I’ve sold 63,932 Snarky Cards so far. Every card is hand-painted and lovingly typed, on Bob; my Smith-Carona. I sell them in bars, from a box that hangs beneath my boobs. When you buy them from me at the bar, you get a free motorboat with every $20 or more purchase. I have given out a lot of motorboats.

Love,

Alisa

43 thoughts on “About Super-Alisa

  • Pingback: Voicebox Karaoke Lounge • Archive • A Very Snarky Anti-Valentine’s Day - Feb 14th

  • January 21, 2010 at 9:18 am
    Permalink

    Hey Hey. I just got my order! Thanks a ton for the additional cards.

    Good luck with your line! We think it’s fucking hilarious here at the office.

    K

    Sillycone.us
    CurlingHats.com
    BigAssPinatas.com

  • February 23, 2010 at 9:09 pm
    Permalink

    I was Googling myself, to be perfectly honest. (Is that like being too honest?) Anyway. There you were. I mean, are. I’ve been referred to as Super Alisa. OK, that’s a lie, but I am. I’ll take Extraordinary Alisa for 500, Alex. Thanks.
    Oh, and I hate your cards. They’re absolutely perfect.

    ~Alisa

  • March 4, 2010 at 5:31 am
    Permalink

    Thanks for the inspiration, your blog looks excellent! I have been having trouble getting motivated with mine but this definitely pumped me up!

  • May 27, 2010 at 1:57 pm
    Permalink

    The kitchen kid wants to do you.

    kisses.

    Pete

  • May 27, 2010 at 10:33 pm
    Permalink

    Yes, I liked that. So was my mate. He said he definitely intends to check it out soon. We will return before you can say anything.

  • June 2, 2010 at 1:08 am
    Permalink

    I just book marked your blog on Digg and StumbleUpon.I enjoy reading your commentaries.

  • June 3, 2010 at 2:16 am
    Permalink

    You certainly deserve a round of applause for your post and more specifically, your blog in general. Very high quality material

  • June 7, 2010 at 1:34 pm
    Permalink

    I searched for something completely different, but found your website! And have to say thanks. Nice read. I will come back.

  • June 21, 2010 at 1:06 am
    Permalink

    Hi I have been reading your blog for the past two weeks and it is interesting, do you have a RSS feed?

  • June 22, 2010 at 11:23 pm
    Permalink

    I simply wanted to say your web site is one of the nicely laid out, most inspirational I’ve come across in quite a while. Thx! 🙂

  • June 29, 2010 at 3:29 pm
    Permalink

    excellent writing , it is actually useful for me. keep writing and happy blogging.

  • July 3, 2010 at 10:17 pm
    Permalink

    Hi. this is kind of an “unconventional” question , but have other visitors asked you how get the menu bar to look like you’ve got it? I also have a blog and am really looking to alter around the theme, however am scared to death to mess with it for fear of the search engines punishing me. I am very new to all of this …so i am just not positive exactly how to try to to it all yet. I’ll just keep working on it one day at a time.

  • July 19, 2010 at 12:53 am
    Permalink

    I just book marked your blog on Digg and StumbleUpon.I enjoy reading your commentaries.

  • July 20, 2010 at 1:37 am
    Permalink

    Awesome article post.Thanks Again. Awesome.

  • July 21, 2010 at 8:41 am
    Permalink

    I just book marked your blog on Digg and StumbleUpon.I enjoy reading your commentaries.

  • August 18, 2010 at 1:49 pm
    Permalink

    I recently bought one of you snarky cards @ Hey Tiger In Louisville. My dog they’re a thing of beauty to behold!!! Hilarious! Thank you very much (with props to Alicia of Hey Tiger).

  • August 18, 2010 at 2:00 pm
    Permalink

    Alicia is pretty rad, isn’t she? And I’m really stoked that you liked my cards! I’m especially stoked that you bought a card, and you left me a note on my website, in which you clearly replaced God with dog. Proving that Snarky Cards can appeal even to people who aren’t into taking the Lords name in vain! Your clean writing makes me feel virtuous!
    Sincerely,
    Alisa

  • August 29, 2010 at 8:19 pm
    Permalink

    You are right, I laughed so hard at your cards I almost puked. Unfortunately I just kicked out my cheating a**hole, small di*k, husband and I am too broke to buy some. You Rock

  • October 17, 2010 at 2:09 pm
    Permalink

    I found your cards in a shop in Portland and I laughed out loud and so hard I almost cried. You are a genius and I hope you become wildly popular because you have a gift. Yes I bought your cards and I am gonna buy a whole lot more because you say all the shit others only wish they had the nerve to say. I like your art too. I cannot wait to see what else you do!

    XOXO,

    Bynkibear

  • October 30, 2010 at 11:56 pm
    Permalink

    It’s at the bottom of the first page, way, way, down there. In kinda small print. I know, I’m gonna try to put it in a more prominent place.

  • Pingback: Beauty and the Bitch » The best underwear. EVER.

  • January 21, 2011 at 7:57 am
    Permalink

    We’ve met at Radish Underground, on the 9 Powell and most recently at Tender Loving Empire, where I spilled my tale of woe re: the now ex-girl thing.

    Your advice was excellent, but instead of having angry sex with strangers, I met a wonderful girl on OK Cupid, who it turns out a: was wearing your marvelous undies and b: calls you a close friend. Small world.

    I’m buying some of your nice cards for her. She rocks.

    You rock, too — don’t stop, we need the thin veil of politesse stripped away from our lives sometimes, and your cards, etc. do it so well.

  • January 23, 2011 at 4:44 pm
    Permalink

    Rad! I’m so glad two of my friends are Doing It! It was nice running into you at Tender Loving Empire. I’m glad you’re making eyes at a cute girl, in order to get over the hag who cheated on you. That girl sucks. My friend rocks. And so do you!
    Thanks for always buying Snarky Cards, and leaving me such a nice note!
    Alisa

  • April 6, 2011 at 6:20 am
    Permalink

    Regards for this fantastic post, I am glad I noticed this web site on yahoo 😉

  • April 16, 2011 at 11:36 pm
    Permalink

    Hey lady 🙂
    You left a stack of your goods at our coffee house tonight. We’ll keep them in the back so you can swing by and pick them up next time you’re down on Hawthorne…you can leave another trail of glitter. 🙂

  • May 2, 2011 at 10:49 pm
    Permalink

    cant wait to see more pics posted

  • May 9, 2011 at 2:42 am
    Permalink

    Thanks guys! I was too harried to remember the stack, but I love your shop, and I look forward to drinking there soon!

  • July 27, 2011 at 2:17 pm
    Permalink

    I love your cards!! I have been to Tiny’s Coffee shop in Portland twice in the last few months, and most recently I bought 7 of them. It is f’ing epic see so many people reading something in a coffee shop and laughing out loud hysterically. I couldn’t resist. You should make business card versions of these for some bar humor. Keep up the great work! 🙂

  • August 1, 2011 at 10:18 pm
    Permalink

    God, I love any excuse to put “fucking,” “penis,” or “pussy” in a birthday card, cause I love my fucking friends.

  • August 8, 2011 at 10:23 am
    Permalink

    Hi Alisa,
    Just wanted to let you know I recieved my cards the other day…Thanks
    Aunt G.

  • September 29, 2011 at 10:25 pm
    Permalink

    Hi Alisa-
    I effing love your cards and impulsively bought a stack last time I was in Portland. I’ve sent them all out and will have to get more…they kill me. I heart your wit.
    I’d love to do a pin-up photoshoot with you! HOT! I’m in NYC but next time I’m in town, want to do a shoot?
    My Velour Girls series is on Facebook on my Marne Lucas Photography page-
    and here: http://velourgirls.tumblr.com/ (email me for password)
    The ‘Mandwich’ link is for my gay’esque male nude series.
    XO ML

  • May 13, 2012 at 9:32 am
    Permalink

    Hey Alisa,
    It’s Heather. From your childhood. E-me. Would love to reconnect.

  • November 28, 2012 at 1:56 pm
    Permalink

    Hi Alisa,

    I’m not sure what bar I was at when I found you…possibly something on Capitol Hill called Quince’s. I believe the bartenders name was James.

    I bought 6 of your wonderful cards while hanging with friends on a Sunday night. I was shocked about the free motor-boat with purchase, and couldn’t seem to get a nose full for more than a whopping 2 seconds at a time. Which led to several re-attempts, and a shocked, yet amused group of guys friends at the bar.

    I bought a “will you make out with me card,” complete with check yes/no/maybe(do you go down) boxes.

    I would like to happily tell you that it was a huge laugh when I handed that exact card to the boy who just so happened to snap photos of me caught between your boobs! All you can see is hair, and I had glitter from the nose up for a full 24 hours (even with a shower).

    I’m so thankful, and glad that their are people like you out there. I’ll never forget it, and will definitely have to buy more!

    ~Heather

Comments are closed.