About Super-Alisa
Hi, I’m Alisa Starr. I make Snarky Cards: Brutally Honest Greeting Cards. They will crack you the fuck up.
They will help you get laid, they will help you dump your lover/mother/father/friend/dentist. They have helped thousands of people get laid, get dumped, get comforted and laugh in the last two and a half years that I’ve been selling them.
This is my typewriter, Bob. He's a Smith-Carona. Not to be racist or anything.
Every card is hand-painted and lovingly typed, on Bob; my Smith-Carona typewriter. I sell them in bars, from a box that hangs beneath my boobs. And online, on etsy, and in 31 stores across the Pacific Northwest, and also, in Brooklyn, NY.
All my life, I’ve gotten in trouble for being “too honest” (what the fuck does that even mean? You’re either honest or you’re not. It’s like being too pregnant). I started making Snarky Cards because I wanted that to stop. I wanted to be a professional writer. I wanted to be famous. I wanted my own tv show. I wanted to make people have more sex.
This card has helped countless people break-up!
I wanted to make people be more honest with each other, so that no-one would ever tell me “I can’t believe you said that!” ever again. I don’t have my own tv show (yet). But I am getting more and more famous. I hear Snarky Card stories every time I go out in Portland, San Francisco, Seattle and San Jose. They’re showing up on more and more refrigerators. They’re getting people laid, and starting difficult conversations.
This is how it started:
On July 4th, 2007, I turned 28. I found myself listlessly looking for another sales job. I have been selling shit since I started working, at 16. And before I got a job selling things, I sold Peer Counseling, and before I sold Peer Counseling, I sold Jesus. -I grew up in a Christian Cult. Selling Jesus to the other second graders was hard, but it made my Mom love me more, when she was sure that I was doing my best for our Lord And Savior. (Jesus and I have since broken up, and are still a little wary of each other).
Ah! The life of an Art Prostitute!
So, after 20 years of selling shit, I was tired of selling shit I didn’t care about. I’d started making Snarky Cards already, and selling them in bars from a box that hangs beneath my boobs (KT’s idea). The thing is, I wasn’t getting paid yet. And I needed gas money to get to the job I didn’t care about. So I would work all day, and at night I’d go out and sell in the bars to make enough money to get my ass to work the next day. It took about 3 weeks of that shit for me to realize that I didn’t want to do anything but make and sell Snarky Cards. And besides. I was 28 fucking years old. And I wasn’t a writer yet. All I’ve wanted to be, since I was six, is a writer. And people seemed to like the cards, and they were the only solid idea I could come up with for making myself a professional writer. So I stopped showing up to the job. And I started making Brutal Honesty full-time.
Since then, I’ve sold over 21,000 Snarky Cards; between my internet sales, the 30 stores that carry my cards, and all the selling I do in bars. Here’s a pic of my Snarky Card tracker, right now. Every time I make a new batch of cards, I add them to the count.
I’m working on getting t-shirts printed of my best-selling cards. And I’m looking for a publisher to publish a collection of Snarky Cards. So, if you know somebody, who publishes books, and would like to publish a best-selling postcard book series, have them drop me a line at snarkycards (at) gmail.com.
- Snarky Cards are slowly making their way into shops up and down the Pacific Northwest. And recently, they just made it to the East Coast. I am slowly taking over the world. I offer a wholesale prices, so if you own or manage a shop or bar and you want some Snarky Cards to cheer up your customers and your bottom line, leave me a comment or you can email me at snarkycards (at) gmail (dot) com and we can talk business.
- Maybe you don’t like to buy stuff in person, or you’re one of those people who finds cool shit online, and then blogs about it, or sends your awesome finds to your friends, or you just like to spend company time looking at funny stuff (and porn, I know you’re looking at porn too), or maybe you don’t have a job or maybe surfing the internet fills that God-shaped hole in your heart. All of those are good reasons for you to look at Snarky Cards online. I have written 700 Snarky Cards. And of those, about 350 of them are fucking hilarious. I only have 130 online. I’m a little behind. And I don’t have a scanner. So, if you meet me in a bar, or you stop by one of the shops that carry my cards, you’ll see the hot new stuff. But the old shit is just as funny. And it’s still a good addition to the porn I know you’re already watching.
Thanks for looking at my Art. It means a lot to me that people want to see the things that hatch in my head, and slither out of my fingers. Thanks for being one of those people.
[...] Super-Alisa, creator of “Snarky Cards” will be in attendance to hand-type one of her own refreshingly frank greeting cards especially for you! [...]
Hey Hey. I just got my order! Thanks a ton for the additional cards.
Good luck with your line! We think it’s fucking hilarious here at the office.
K
Sillycone.us
CurlingHats.com
BigAssPinatas.com
I came across this blog looking for gift ideas for valentine
I was Googling myself, to be perfectly honest. (Is that like being too honest?) Anyway. There you were. I mean, are. I’ve been referred to as Super Alisa. OK, that’s a lie, but I am. I’ll take Extraordinary Alisa for 500, Alex. Thanks.
Oh, and I hate your cards. They’re absolutely perfect.
~Alisa
Thanks for the inspiration, your blog looks excellent! I have been having trouble getting motivated with mine but this definitely pumped me up!
The kitchen kid wants to do you.
kisses.
Pete
Yes, I liked that. So was my mate. He said he definitely intends to check it out soon. We will return before you can say anything.
I just book marked your blog on Digg and StumbleUpon.I enjoy reading your commentaries.
I like your post. Your blog is fantastic.
You certainly deserve a round of applause for your post and more specifically, your blog in general. Very high quality material
I searched for something completely different, but found your website! And have to say thanks. Nice read. I will come back.
do u have an issue with your rss Feed? It’s not working for us
( .Thanks for your summary ireally liked it
Hi I have been reading your blog for the past two weeks and it is interesting, do you have a RSS feed?
I simply wanted to say your web site is one of the nicely laid out, most inspirational I’ve come across in quite a while. Thx!
Hey Alisa – thanks for the pedophile mustache card. Totally made my day. I blogged about it if you want to check it out: http://www.oldsoulhandmade.wordpress.com.
Will definitely be back. Thanks!
excellent writing , it is actually useful for me. keep writing and happy blogging.
Hi. this is kind of an “unconventional” question , but have other visitors asked you how get the menu bar to look like you’ve got it? I also have a blog and am really looking to alter around the theme, however am scared to death to mess with it for fear of the search engines punishing me. I am very new to all of this …so i am just not positive exactly how to try to to it all yet. I’ll just keep working on it one day at a time.
Thanks so much! That’s so awesome!
Yes! It’s at the bottom of the page!
Yeah, other people seem to dig my layout. And all I have to say is that you should check in with Ilana at http://www.curiouspear.com. She makes everything pretty for me.
Really nice post!
I just book marked your blog on Digg and StumbleUpon.I enjoy reading your commentaries.
Awesome article post.Thanks Again. Awesome.
I just book marked your blog on Digg and StumbleUpon.I enjoy reading your commentaries.
I recently bought one of you snarky cards @ Hey Tiger In Louisville. My dog they’re a thing of beauty to behold!!! Hilarious! Thank you very much (with props to Alicia of Hey Tiger).
Alicia is pretty rad, isn’t she? And I’m really stoked that you liked my cards! I’m especially stoked that you bought a card, and you left me a note on my website, in which you clearly replaced God with dog. Proving that Snarky Cards can appeal even to people who aren’t into taking the Lords name in vain! Your clean writing makes me feel virtuous!
Sincerely,
Alisa