Hi, I’m Alisa Starr. I make Snarky Cards: Brutally Honest Greeting Cards. They will crack you the fuck up.
I was born on July 4th, 1979. I grew up in Santa Clara, CA. Which is in the heart of the Silicon Valley. I grew up in the dot.com boom. In high school, my boyfriends dropped out so that they could write code. I was not the chick who said “You don’t know him, he doesn’t go here.” I was the much more annoying chick who said “You don’t know him, he has his own apartment.” I grew up in a very religious family, all of whom were not happy about me saying whatever I think. when I think it.
I’ve been selling shit for my entire life. This first culminated in my book career, which lasted 7 years. I also worked for a mortgage company, and a dating service. And a lot of other companies who probably aren’t as interesting as that.
This is my typewriter, Bob. He’s a Smith-Carona. Not to be racist or anything.
I started Snarky Cards in 2007. I’d wanted to make myself a writer, and this was my best idea. I combined all the things I’m good at: drinking in bars, painting while watching tv, talking to strangers, and sexy-talk and an almost autistic inability to resist telling people what I think of them into this one, awesome job.
I’ve sold 50,000 Snarky Cards so far. Every card is hand-painted and lovingly typed, on Bob; my Smith-Carona. I sell them in bars, from a box that hangs beneath my boobs. When you buy them from me at the bar, you get a free motorboat with every $20 or more purchase. I have given out a lot of motorboats.
Love,
Alisa
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Hey Hey. I just got my order! Thanks a ton for the additional cards.
Good luck with your line! We think it’s fucking hilarious here at the office.
K
Sillycone.us
CurlingHats.com
BigAssPinatas.com
I came across this blog looking for gift ideas for valentine
I was Googling myself, to be perfectly honest. (Is that like being too honest?) Anyway. There you were. I mean, are. I’ve been referred to as Super Alisa. OK, that’s a lie, but I am. I’ll take Extraordinary Alisa for 500, Alex. Thanks.
Oh, and I hate your cards. They’re absolutely perfect.
~Alisa
Thanks for the inspiration, your blog looks excellent! I have been having trouble getting motivated with mine but this definitely pumped me up!
The kitchen kid wants to do you.
kisses.
Pete
Yes, I liked that. So was my mate. He said he definitely intends to check it out soon. We will return before you can say anything.
I just book marked your blog on Digg and StumbleUpon.I enjoy reading your commentaries.
I like your post. Your blog is fantastic.
You certainly deserve a round of applause for your post and more specifically, your blog in general. Very high quality material
I searched for something completely different, but found your website! And have to say thanks. Nice read. I will come back.
do u have an issue with your rss Feed? It’s not working for us
( .Thanks for your summary ireally liked it
Hi I have been reading your blog for the past two weeks and it is interesting, do you have a RSS feed?
I simply wanted to say your web site is one of the nicely laid out, most inspirational I’ve come across in quite a while. Thx!
Hey Alisa – thanks for the pedophile mustache card. Totally made my day. I blogged about it if you want to check it out: http://www.oldsoulhandmade.wordpress.com.
Will definitely be back. Thanks!
excellent writing , it is actually useful for me. keep writing and happy blogging.
Hi. this is kind of an “unconventional” question , but have other visitors asked you how get the menu bar to look like you’ve got it? I also have a blog and am really looking to alter around the theme, however am scared to death to mess with it for fear of the search engines punishing me. I am very new to all of this …so i am just not positive exactly how to try to to it all yet. I’ll just keep working on it one day at a time.
Thanks so much! That’s so awesome!
Yes! It’s at the bottom of the page!
Yeah, other people seem to dig my layout. And all I have to say is that you should check in with Ilana at http://www.curiouspear.com. She makes everything pretty for me.
Really nice post!
I just book marked your blog on Digg and StumbleUpon.I enjoy reading your commentaries.
Awesome article post.Thanks Again. Awesome.
I just book marked your blog on Digg and StumbleUpon.I enjoy reading your commentaries.
I recently bought one of you snarky cards @ Hey Tiger In Louisville. My dog they’re a thing of beauty to behold!!! Hilarious! Thank you very much (with props to Alicia of Hey Tiger).
Alicia is pretty rad, isn’t she? And I’m really stoked that you liked my cards! I’m especially stoked that you bought a card, and you left me a note on my website, in which you clearly replaced God with dog. Proving that Snarky Cards can appeal even to people who aren’t into taking the Lords name in vain! Your clean writing makes me feel virtuous!
Sincerely,
Alisa
You are right, I laughed so hard at your cards I almost puked. Unfortunately I just kicked out my cheating a**hole, small di*k, husband and I am too broke to buy some. You Rock
I found your cards in a shop in Portland and I laughed out loud and so hard I almost cried. You are a genius and I hope you become wildly popular because you have a gift. Yes I bought your cards and I am gonna buy a whole lot more because you say all the shit others only wish they had the nerve to say. I like your art too. I cannot wait to see what else you do!
XOXO,
Bynkibear
It’s at the bottom of the first page, way, way, down there. In kinda small print. I know, I’m gonna try to put it in a more prominent place.
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We’ve met at Radish Underground, on the 9 Powell and most recently at Tender Loving Empire, where I spilled my tale of woe re: the now ex-girl thing.
Your advice was excellent, but instead of having angry sex with strangers, I met a wonderful girl on OK Cupid, who it turns out a: was wearing your marvelous undies and b: calls you a close friend. Small world.
I’m buying some of your nice cards for her. She rocks.
You rock, too — don’t stop, we need the thin veil of politesse stripped away from our lives sometimes, and your cards, etc. do it so well.
Rad! I’m so glad two of my friends are Doing It! It was nice running into you at Tender Loving Empire. I’m glad you’re making eyes at a cute girl, in order to get over the hag who cheated on you. That girl sucks. My friend rocks. And so do you!
Thanks for always buying Snarky Cards, and leaving me such a nice note!
Alisa
Regards for this fantastic post, I am glad I noticed this web site on yahoo
Hey lady
You left a stack of your goods at our coffee house tonight. We’ll keep them in the back so you can swing by and pick them up next time you’re down on Hawthorne…you can leave another trail of glitter.
cant wait to see more pics posted
Thanks guys! I was too harried to remember the stack, but I love your shop, and I look forward to drinking there soon!
I love your cards!! I have been to Tiny’s Coffee shop in Portland twice in the last few months, and most recently I bought 7 of them. It is f’ing epic see so many people reading something in a coffee shop and laughing out loud hysterically. I couldn’t resist. You should make business card versions of these for some bar humor. Keep up the great work!
Thanks so much! I’m glad you like ‘em!
God, I love any excuse to put “fucking,” “penis,” or “pussy” in a birthday card, cause I love my fucking friends.
Hi Alisa,
Just wanted to let you know I recieved my cards the other day…Thanks
Aunt G.
Hi Alisa-
I effing love your cards and impulsively bought a stack last time I was in Portland. I’ve sent them all out and will have to get more…they kill me. I heart your wit.
I’d love to do a pin-up photoshoot with you! HOT! I’m in NYC but next time I’m in town, want to do a shoot?
My Velour Girls series is on Facebook on my Marne Lucas Photography page-
and here: http://velourgirls.tumblr.com/ (email me for password)
The ‘Mandwich’ link is for my gay’esque male nude series.
XO ML