Category Archives: Alisa has feelings

Christmas Ass

Dear Internets, For those of you who don’t know, my name is Alisa Starr. I make Snarky Cards: Brutally Honest Greeting Cards. I sell them in bars from a box that hangs beneath my boobs. They will crack you the … Continue reading

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Dear Internets, For those of you who don’t know, my name is Alisa Starr, and I make Snarky Cards: Brutally Honest Greeting Cards. They say horrible things and will crack you the fuck up. I sell them in bars from … Continue reading

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What’s Going On

I grew up in a Christian Church, you might have heard of them, they’re called the Baptists. My parents practiced a different kind of Christianity at home. I may have mentioned to you before, my parents are demon-hunters, and God speaks to my Mother on the phone. Which are both things that Baptists don’t get with. So Jon and Sherri (said parents) were in the closet about their freaky form of Christianity until 4-5 years ago. When they came out of their Crazy Christian Cult Closet, their church promptly kicked them out. I’m pretty sure that they’ve actually been kicked out of a few churches since they came out. But they’re worried I’ll make fun of them, so they don’t keep me that informed these days. They’re probably right. Continue reading

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I know it’s hard, but only you can do it

Dear Internets, My name is Alisa Starr. I make Snarky Cards: Brutally Honest Greeting Cards. I sell them in bars from a box that hangs beneath my boobs. Last week I ran out of cards, so I spent the better … Continue reading

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Swimming

Dear Internets, As some of you know, my name is Alisa Starr and I make Snarky Cards: Brutally Honest Greeting Cards. I sell them in bars from a box that hangs beneath my boobs. Which are huge. So is my … Continue reading

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Babies

Dear Internets, As some of you know, today I turned 31. And today Snarky Cards is 3. And I’ve been having a lot of mental anguish over my family. So, it’s been hard to convince myself to celebrate my birth, … Continue reading

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Bill Carter is a genius

Dear Internets, As some of you may know, I am friends with Fenbi: The Best Band On Earth. Mike, the front-man from the group, has a regular job. Or, you know, a career as a marketing god. Bill Carter is … Continue reading

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Vagina Feelings

I feel really validated by the fact that Dr. Mc Steamy from “Doctors who cry in Seattle” (also known as Grey’s Anatomy) is having this very same epiphany right now about his penis. Continue reading

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Rule 13

Dear Internets, When I was 19, The Rules came out. The Rules were written by two skinny Anne-Coulter-esque women. You know, the kind of chicks who think that they’re hotter than shit because they can wear a pencil skirt and … Continue reading

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Fenbi Finally

I am a woman of many talents… Or at least, that’s what my friend Sheila told me last night. I kinda knew that before she said it. I mean, I know I’m charismatic. And, of course, very beautiful. Although, I … Continue reading

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