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Canadia! Oh how we love thee!
Feminists Are Better Lovers
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Shopping: The Opiate of The Masses
Smart People Saying Funny Things
- 4 teenagers, Need I say more?
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- Avoid this job
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Superman Is A Dick
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Category Archives: New Cards
The Hot Blind Guy
For those of you who don’t know, I make Snarky Cards: Brutally Honest Greeting Cards. I sell them in bars from a box that hangs beneath my boobs. They will crack you the fuck up. Last week I went out … Continue reading
Obama-Rama: Super-Alisa Gets all Political On Your Ass
Last night I watched the Obama speech. I was painting my cards, and my room-mate and I listened together as he explained what he’s going to do. Occasionally, I shouted things like “Finally!” And “Ohmygod!” It was kind of like … Continue reading
Posted in New Cards
Tagged bad guys, Big Companies Moving their jobs overseas, college, everything is fucked up, fixing schools, Gorgeous Black Man, hope, Insurance companies, medical bills, Mr. President, Obama, optimism, selfish, Snarky Cards, splooge, the economy sucks, The Economy Sucks Cards, yes we can
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Chance Of Rain: Coolest of The Cool
I stopped by Chance Of Rain today and restocked their Snarky Card Stash. So all of you Southeast Portlanders, get on over there to get your The Economy Sucks! Cards. They’ve extended their hours for Winter, because they know that … Continue reading
Posted in New Cards
Tagged Chance Of Rain, coffee shops, discount, economy, lover, Portland South East, Snarky Cards, the economy sucks, underemployed
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Alisa Starr: Luddite, Complainer and general Pain In The Ass
For those of you who don’t know, I make Snarky Cards: Brutally Honest Greeting Cards. They will crack you the fuck up. This is my website, where I write about Snarky Cards, and my life selling them. I hope I … Continue reading
Posted in New Cards
Tagged Be common, Clear, dead movie star, Facebook Status, Luddite, rotary phone, Sexy Secretary, Snarky Cards, The 80's, typewriter, website, whining
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V-Day
For those of you who don’t know, I make Snarky Cards, brutally honest greeting cards. These cards are rad. They will crack you the fuck up. Everyone always says to me: You must do so well with your Snarky Cards … Continue reading
Posted in New Cards, Places We Love
Tagged Adam Carolla, bartenders, books, broken leg, bullshit holiday, crazy tattoos, Dating, depression, high school, hugging, Ireland, kindness, Love, pos-break-up hook up, Sex, shrink, Snarky Cards, The Aalto, The Triple Nickel, therapy, Valentines Day
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“Without abject suffering I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”
Remember when Lizzie used to say that if she ever had a baby she’d call it Gargonzola? Continue reading
Posted in New Cards, Uncategorized
Tagged Cold, Gargonzola, K-T, knocked up, pregnancy, sick, Snarky Cards
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Knocking you Up!
I betcha thought that you needed some penis and vagina action in order to get knocked up, huh? Nope. It’s not true. It’s just Jaeger. You drink enough of it, and a baby magically starts growing inside of you. That’s why I don’t touch the stuff. I stick to whiskey, and I’ve been baby-free for 15 years. Continue reading
Posted in Hot Sexy Time!, New Cards, Stories from The Bar, Uncategorized
Tagged babies, bars, Berbati's Pan, body, dancing, Fenbi, Jaeger, Love, pregnancy, Sex, Snarky Cards, The Ash Street Saloon, whiskey
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The Bicycle Circus
I joined a circus once. I needed a ride, and it was going my way, and Kaytea was in it, so she introduced me and I worked really hard and they fed me whiskey and kept me dirty and at … Continue reading
Posted in Bikes, Hot Sexy Time!, New Cards, Place I'll be, Places We Love, Snarky Cards, The Circus
Tagged Bicycle, Bike, Circus, Cyclecide, Fenbi, Go-go dancing Snarky Cards, Nanda, Rock 'n' Roll
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Fenbi Show: Inauguration Day @ the Ash Street Saloon!
So come and celebrate this new world where our President is black and smart, and not a jackal-sell-out; by getting wasted and dancing your asses off while cute boys sing you some Rock ‘n’ Roll. Continue reading
Posted in Hot Sexy Time!, New Cards, Place I'll be, Places We Love
Tagged Ash Street Saloon, Circus, Fenbi, Hot Boys, Love, Music, New Cards, President, sex and old fashioned romance, Snarky Cards
2 Comments
History Beats The Fuck Out Of Doubt
I’ve been trying to figure out why I started selling Snarky Cards in the first place. Thankfully, Arlette is sensible and kind. “Because you’re good at it.” She said in between bites of Ole Dirty Bastard (Voodoo Doughnuts completed her Portland experience). “Are you sure I’m not just trying to make up for a shitty childhood?” I asked. “Nope. You like people. And you’re selling your art.” Continue reading