Super Alisa! » loud-mouth bitches http://superalisa.com Seattle's finest source of handmade Snarky Cards, snappy patter and general trouble Wed, 07 Dec 2011 08:36:48 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 Red Light’s Naked Shopping Party: A Great Way to Celebrate Jesus http://superalisa.com/2011/04/red-lights-naked-shopping-party-a-great-way-to-celebrate-jesus/ http://superalisa.com/2011/04/red-lights-naked-shopping-party-a-great-way-to-celebrate-jesus/#comments Sun, 24 Apr 2011 07:59:28 +0000 Alisa Starr http://superalisa.com/?p=1642 Continue reading →]]>

Me, slingin' my Snarky Cards

Dear Internets,

My name is Alisa Starr. I make Snarky Cards: Brutally Honest Greeting Cards. I sell them in bars from a box that hangs beneath my boobs. They will crack you the fuck up.

This Sunday, Red Light Clothing Exchange is having their annual Naked Shopping Party! I’ll be slinging my cards, with my typewriter, and my boobs. There’ll be a band, and prizes. I mean, prizes that are not just “win all the clothes you can wear” which is, of course the big prize.

People have been asking me what the deal is with this Naked Shopping Party.  The rules are simple: everyone shows up with clothes on. The biggest prize offered is  that you can win all the clothes you can put on at once. Obviously, it’s easier to fit more clothes on, if you start off naked. If you’d like to shop naked, you put your name in a box and the delicious and delightful staff at Red Light draw the names of 2 boys and 2 girls from the box.

And they shop. And everyone else shops too. But they shop naked. And the rest of us get to watch. How rad is that? While we’re watching the naked shoppers, I’ll be typing up new and custom Snarky Cards. I’m excited about partying it up, and writing some new shit for your horrible and hilarious sexual situations. There will also be lots of Snarky Undies for those of you who haven’t gotten a pair yet.

So, if you wanna celebrate Easter the way Weed Jesus would want you to, come on down to Red Light, to get your custom Snarky Cards, your Snarky Undies, and your voyeur on.

See ya then!

Love,

Alisa

]]> http://superalisa.com/2011/04/red-lights-naked-shopping-party-a-great-way-to-celebrate-jesus/feed/ 0 Tonight i’m selling in SF! http://superalisa.com/2010/02/tonight-im-selling-snarky-car/ http://superalisa.com/2010/02/tonight-im-selling-snarky-car/#comments Sun, 21 Feb 2010 05:07:23 +0000 Alisa Starr http://superalisa.com/2010/02/tonight-im-selling-snarky-car/ Tonight I’m selling Snarky Cards @ zeitgeist in the mission!

]]> http://superalisa.com/2010/02/tonight-im-selling-snarky-car/feed/ 3 Alisa Twatted for you: http://superalisa.com/2010/01/alisa-twatted-for-you-2/ http://superalisa.com/2010/01/alisa-twatted-for-you-2/#comments Mon, 11 Jan 2010 05:49:00 +0000 Alisa Starr http://superalisa.com/2010/01/alisa-twatted-for-you-2/
  • I'll be reading Tarot Cards at Fenbi's show: tonight from 8-1am @ The Ash Street Saloon! Come get yer dance on, and check out your future! #

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    ]]>     http://superalisa.com/2010/01/alisa-twatted-for-you-2/feed/ 0     I’ll be reading Tarot Cards at… http://superalisa.com/2010/01/ill-be-reading-tarot-cards-at/ http://superalisa.com/2010/01/ill-be-reading-tarot-cards-at/#comments Sun, 10 Jan 2010 02:02:56 +0000 Alisa Starr http://superalisa.com/2010/01/ill-be-reading-tarot-cards-at/ I’ll be reading Tarot Cards at Fenbi’s show: tonight from 8-1am @ The Ash Street Saloon! Come get yer dance on, and check out your future!

    ]]>     http://superalisa.com/2010/01/ill-be-reading-tarot-cards-at/feed/ 0     Alisa Twatted for you: http://superalisa.com/2009/12/alisa-twatted-for-you/ http://superalisa.com/2009/12/alisa-twatted-for-you/#comments Sun, 06 Dec 2009 21:49:00 +0000 Alisa Starr http://superalisa.com/2009/12/alisa-twatted-for-you/
  • Dear_____________
    Get fucked cunty!
    Merry Fuckin' Christmas!
    Sincerely,
    ___________________
    Now on http://snarkycards.etsy.com! #

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    ]]>     http://superalisa.com/2009/12/alisa-twatted-for-you/feed/ 0     Dear_____________ Get fucked c… http://superalisa.com/2009/12/dear_____________get-fucked-c/ http://superalisa.com/2009/12/dear_____________get-fucked-c/#comments Wed, 02 Dec 2009 22:07:11 +0000 Alisa Starr http://superalisa.com/2009/12/dear_____________get-fucked-c/ Dear_____________
    Get fucked cunty!
    Merry Fuckin’ Christmas!
    Sincerely,
    ___________________
    Now on http://snarkycards.etsy.com!

    ]]>     http://superalisa.com/2009/12/dear_____________get-fucked-c/feed/ 1     Dear________ Happy Divorce! No… http://superalisa.com/2009/10/dear________happy-divorceno/ http://superalisa.com/2009/10/dear________happy-divorceno/#comments Wed, 07 Oct 2009 23:13:07 +0000 Alisa Starr http://superalisa.com/2009/10/dear________happy-divorceno/ Dear________
    Happy Divorce!
    Now you can start sleeping with someone who isn’t bat-shit crazy!
    Sincerely,

    Now on http://snarkycards.etsy.com

    ]]>     http://superalisa.com/2009/10/dear________happy-divorceno/feed/ 0     I’m selling Snarky Cards tonig… http://superalisa.com/2009/09/im-selling-snarky-cards-tonig/ http://superalisa.com/2009/09/im-selling-snarky-cards-tonig/#comments Thu, 24 Sep 2009 23:41:11 +0000 Alisa Starr http://superalisa.com/2009/09/im-selling-snarky-cards-tonig/ I’m selling Snarky Cards tonight! @ Zeitgeist, in the Mission from 6pm-8pm!
    Come and get it San Francisco!

    ]]>     http://superalisa.com/2009/09/im-selling-snarky-cards-tonig/feed/ 0     Get yer custom Snarky Cards at… http://superalisa.com/2009/09/get-yer-custom-snarky-cards-at/ http://superalisa.com/2009/09/get-yer-custom-snarky-cards-at/#comments Fri, 18 Sep 2009 20:17:14 +0000 Alisa Starr http://superalisa.com/2009/09/get-yer-custom-snarky-cards-at/ Get yer custom Snarky Cards at Voodoo Doughtnut Too! Bands, booze, boobs and Snarky Cards! 1501 N.E. Davis St. from 3-7pm!

    ]]>     http://superalisa.com/2009/09/get-yer-custom-snarky-cards-at/feed/ 0     You make love like an animal! … http://superalisa.com/2009/09/you-make-love-like-an-animal/ http://superalisa.com/2009/09/you-make-love-like-an-animal/#comments Thu, 10 Sep 2009 23:31:20 +0000 Alisa Starr http://superalisa.com/2009/09/you-make-love-like-an-animal/ You make love like an animal! (A *jellyfish)
    Sincerely,
    *Afterwards I have to pee on myself to get the sting out
    http://snarkycards.etsy.com

    ]]>     http://superalisa.com/2009/09/you-make-love-like-an-animal/feed/ 0