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Tag Archives: Sex
Dear _____________ Confusing t…
Dear _____________ Confusing text messages don’t make me wanna sleep with you. Sincerely, _______________ Now on http://snarkycards.etsy.com
Posted in It Happened In My Vagina
Tagged bitches, Dating, friendship, Hilarious, loud-mouth bitches, Love, Meet Super-Alisa!, New Snarky Cards, penis, Sex, sexy, snarky, vagina
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PS It’s called C U Next Tuesda…
PS It’s called C U Next Tuesday http://snarkycards.etsy.com
Posted in It Happened In My Vagina
Tagged bitches, Dating, friendship, Hilarious, loud-mouth bitches, Love, Meet Super-Alisa!, New Snarky Cards, penis, Sex, sexy, snarky, vagina
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Thanks for loving me no matter…
Thanks for loving me no matter what. And doing filthy disgusting things to my body. For the whole card: http://snarkycards.com
Posted in It Happened In My Vagina
Tagged bitches, Dating, friendship, Hilarious, loud-mouth bitches, Love, Meet Super-Alisa!, New Snarky Cards, penis, Sex, sexy, snarky, vagina
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Dear: Happy Break-Up! Now you …
Dear: Happy Break-Up! Now you can start sleeping with someone who isn’t bat-shit crazy! Sincerely, Now on http://snarkycards.etsy.com
Posted in It Happened In My Vagina
Tagged bitches, Dating, friendship, Hilarious, loud-mouth bitches, Love, Meet Super-Alisa!, New Snarky Cards, penis, Sex, sexy, snarky, vagina
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Heatwave
The heat is killing me. For you lucky fuckers who do not reside in Portland, Oregon, our city is having the heat-wave of a lifetime. I mean, this whole summer’s been super fucking hot, but today it was unbearable.100 fucking … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Alcaholic, alcaholic faze, Boys=pussies, Daddy Issues, Dating, Fuckin' Fixiwes, Heatwave, Hitting On Depressives, KT, Love, Love's Declaration, Low Dating Standards, Man-gina, New Snarky Cards, Serious Therapy, Sex, shitty boy dating pool, Snarky Cards, Southeast Portland, SuperAlisa Sells, Where Hipsters Go To Die, Wooing
9 Comments
The Bexter: adorable, funny and lately luck in love
About a year ago, I was in San Francisco, hanging out with my ex-fake-husband, Steve, and The Bexter. The three of us were watching Steve’s car get washed, because old friends can do boring shit together and it’ll still turn … Continue reading
Posted in Hot Sexy Time!
Tagged Bickering, Dating, First Dates, Love, New Snarky Cards, Old Friends, romance, Sex, Snarky Cards, Stole your bike, The Bexter, The Prom, True Story, vagina
3 Comments
Buzz
It’s been really hard for me to nail down a business motto, because I want so many good things to happen to your genitals. So I hope you get laid, and I hope you get yer Bitch on. Continue reading
Posted in Alisa has feelings
Tagged Bitch Magazine, Dating, Eye Contact, Love, New Snarky Cards, San Francisco, Sex, Snarky Cards, Vibrators, Your Genitals
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Room-mates
In my long and interesting life, I have had 41 room-mates. I’ve liked about 5 of them. Most of them I don’t talk to anymore. Most of them were psychos. You know room-mates: they keep you up at night with … Continue reading
Posted in New Cards, Notes From Strangers, Place I'll be, Uncategorized
Tagged Bridget Fonda, chain-smoking, condoms, crazy-cakes, Farrah, Jennifer Jason Leigh, judging, loud fucking, New Snarky Cards, passive agressive notes, Pedro, Portland, psycho room-mates, psychotic room mates, Puck, room mates, Room-mate cards, Sex, sexy furniture, Shunning, Single White Female, skanky-bar sex, Snarky Cards, The Real World, Valentines Day, VD's
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Monday
Tonight my leg hurt again. I danced my ass off to Fenbi twice last week, and my poor leg couldn’t handle all of the joy. So I was using the crutch, which always makes me feel sorry for myself. It … Continue reading
A confession and a pledge
Dear Internets: I have a confession to make. I have been having a lot of sex with someone I like, who likes me. I know. It sucks. But I want to make a pledge to you, right now, internets, I … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged confession, Dating, fucking, hate-fucking, jacking off a stranger, loser magnet, Love, New Snarky Cards, pedge, relationship, Sex, sexy, single, slightly pissed off, Snarky Cards
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