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Tag Archives: Snarky Cards
Babies
Dear Internets, As some of you know, today I turned 31. And today Snarky Cards is 3. And I’ve been having a lot of mental anguish over my family. So, it’s been hard to convince myself to celebrate my birth, … Continue reading
Bill Carter is a genius
Dear Internets, As some of you may know, I am friends with Fenbi: The Best Band On Earth. Mike, the front-man from the group, has a regular job. Or, you know, a career as a marketing god. Bill Carter is … Continue reading
Posted in Alisa has feelings, Snarky Cards
Tagged 1993, Bill Carter, Bill Carter author, Bill Carter Fools Rush In, Bill Carter is a genius, Bill Carter Miss Sarajevo, Bono, book recomendation, Dating, demon hunters, Don't Kill Us, falling in love, Fenbi, Fools Rush In, intimacy, Kosovo, Love, Mary Chapin-Carpenter, Miss Sarajevo, Miss Sarajevo 1993, Miss Sarajevo Beauty Pageant, mothers, parents, romance, Sarajevo, Sarajevo siege, shitty childhood, Snarky Cards, Superalisa, Turkey
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Bondage and State Snobbery
Dear Internets, As some of you know, my name is Alisa Starr. I make Snarky Cards. I sell them in bars from a box that hangs beneath my boobs. And, I also sell them in stores. In fact, my etsy … Continue reading
Posted in New Cards, Snarky Cards
Tagged Aspirations, California Snobbery, Cigarette Girls, Cigarrette Girls, Cigarrette Girls in Portland, Detroit, extreme ass spreaders, genital mutilation, Google, Harlow's monkeys, leather imprint paddles, MI, milking sticks, New Snarky Cards, Ruling the World, Snarky Cards, State Snobbery, the founding of the internets, The Silicon Valley, urethra dilators
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The Long Ride Home
Dear Internets, For those of you who don’t know, I make Snarky Cards: Brutally Honest Greeting Cards. I sell them in bars from a box that hangs beneath my boobs. They will crack you the fuck up. I was recently … Continue reading
Fuck California
Dear Internets, Since the last time I wrote you, a lot of shit has gone down. I know, I should keep you updated. But I don’t. Because like it or not, internets, I’m sort of a public figure. I’m kinda … Continue reading
Posted in It Happened In My Vagina
Tagged bad sexual decisions, California, Cat Rape, Dating, gay cats, Love, Portland, Portlandia, San Francisco, Snarky Cards
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Drinkin’ Rules
Dear Internets, I had an awesome night Wednesday night, dancing my ass off, serenaded by cute boys playing awesome music. I didn’t even mind the fratboy nature of the Dublin Pub on St. Paddy’s Day. Or the annoying drunk girls, … Continue reading
Posted in It Happened In My Vagina
Tagged bartender etiquette, bartender niceties, Bartender rules, be nice to your bartender, dancing, drinking, drinking etiquette, drinking rules, Fenbi, frat boys, Homicide, New Snarky Cards, Snarky Cards, sorority girls, st paddy's day, St Patrick's Day, The Bar, The Dublin Pub
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Fenbi for St. Patricks Day!
Dear Internets, As you know, I have a big crush on The Fenbi International Superstars. Their name makes no sense, but it doesn’t stop this band of hot boys from making amazing music. And tonight they’ll be playing at The … Continue reading
Stephenie
Dear Internets, I just got off the phone with my brother, Stephenie. Who called to tell me that his girlfriend (the amazing and awesome Christina) wanted him to call me to tell me that she loves reading about my period-blood-sex-adventures. … Continue reading
Rule 13
Dear Internets, When I was 19, The Rules came out. The Rules were written by two skinny Anne-Coulter-esque women. You know, the kind of chicks who think that they’re hotter than shit because they can wear a pencil skirt and … Continue reading
Posted in Alisa has feelings, It Happened In My Vagina, New Cards, Snarky Cards
Tagged Bexter, bitches, Dating, dating advice, dating rules, david, friendship, Hilarious, justin, list of guys I've slept with, Love, manipulate men, name rules, New Cards, New Snarky Cards, romance, rule 13, ryan, Sex, Snarky Cards, the list, The Rules, Those Bitches Who Wrote The Rules, vagina
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Bloody Hands
Dear Internets, On the third day of my period, every month, I go out and get myself some. I know, my Vagina seems like a constant party, and you assumed I’ve been filling it more regularly than that, but the … Continue reading
Posted in It Happened In My Vagina
Tagged art prostitution, blood sex, Dating, Love, New Snarky Cards, period blood, period blood sex, relationships, Sex, Snarky Cards
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